Why You Want to be Hypnotized by a Hypnofetishist

I love kink parties, but I'm still trying to figure out my place in them. The ones that I go to tend to be primarily bondage and impact play (spanking and hitting). I'm fairly interested in the former, but still a fumbling beginner for all but the basics, but the latter is a foreign country. I have spanked partners before, even with paddles (and a long shoehorn), but I know there's a lot to learn about how to make a great scene for someone. Also, and this might be illogical, but the fact that it's not my kink also makes me insecure about it. None of the porn I seek out involves spanking or other types of pain. On the other hand, I do admire the intensity of the experience for the bottom, which is hot in itself, especially now that I understand just how much some people adore the sensation of getting hit.

At any rate, whatever interest I have in bondage and impact play is just a shadow of how much I love hypnosis. And last night at the party realized I'm experiencing a new wave of shyness in asking people to trance with me. I saw a number of instances of friends bravely propositioning people last night, often with very good results. But when I'm not worrying that people will think it's creepy, my brain is telling me that hypnosis needs a private space, and some kind of existing trusting relationship to work. I don't really believe that's true; I think those are excuses I use to chicken out.

But it does bother me that compared to the other wild things that are going on (many of which require more special accomodations than hypnosis), hypnosis is not very exciting to watch, and nowhere near as whole-body, at least how I've practiced it in the past. (future blog post idea: whether it's a problem that being the hypnotist can be such a cerebral pleasure, and if there's a way to bring it more into the body) It doesn't leave fun bruises or rope marks for people to show off.

Not everybody is into public play, I don't have to go in that direction. But these kind of parties can be great spaces to meet and do things with new people, as well as where people can let their hair down in general and make time to play.

Anyway, these are my ramblings. But I hope that I can make a little corner for erotic hypnosis in the public Boston scene before I leave, including figuring out how to have some fun scenes of my kink at kink parties. And that will just take some thought, and some boldness (as well as consideration for how some people find hypnosis to be triggering based on past trauma). But I certainly have a great time at these parties no matter what.

To psych myself up, and as an entirely self-serving PSA, here's why, if you're intrigued by hypnosis in a kink context, you want hypnofetishists like me doing it:

• No need for gratitude or reciprocation. Hypnofetishists get off on putting you in a trance, and so it's as much a pleasurable (and possibly sexual) experience for them as for you.
• They have a motivation other than to get some kind of hold. The idea of people learning how to hypnotize in order to get people to sleep with them, or be submissive to them, makes my skin crawl. You want someone who's into it for its own sake (or else wants to enhance an existing D/s relationship).
• They have a motivation other than trying to fix you. Might this be even creepier? The people, often male, who get off on the idea of curing the problems of people they're attracted to? AmHypnotic just wrote a great blog post about the icky behaviour this can provoke. I am not into this (see rule #1 here)
• They're highly motivated to practice hypnosis. Imagine how good I would be at guitar, or any of many other skills I've abandoned, if I got turned on every time I practiced it! Hypnofetishists consume huge amounts of material related to hypnosis, and relish every trick they can pick up. (because they masturbate to those things.) And this interest is going to be pretty steady over time.

There's some people who are interested in hypnosis, but might be uncomfortable about their hypnotist getting turned on. And that's cool. There are professional hypnotherapists out there, some of whom even do recreational hypnosis, and stage hypnotists (both of these groups, of course, overlap with hypnofetishists, but there is also the money motivation, and the fact that they have professional constraints). But I hope that in a consent-valuing subculture, and one where hypnofetishists identify themselves as such, people can negotiate those asymmetries, and feel safe within the limits that have been discussed ahead of time.