I
wrote these three bits of advice in reply to a thread about trying to
start a hypnosis munch, reposting in case they might help someone else.
I have been involved with the Boston hypno munch group now known as BEHIVE for the past 5 years. Wednesday night we had 22 people, but for much of my history it was often very small.
First, keep on keeping on. You have to be ridiculously consistent, and accept that it's going to be small for a long long time. This is a niche kink, and these things take forever to get going anyway. The important thing is to make whoever shows up feel like this is the place to be, this is the party, and to be glad they came - phrases to be avoided at all costs are "I guess this is everyone who's coming?" and "It's weird, where are all the people who RSVPed..." One that that has helped is thinking of it as personal relationships, and reaching out to the people who are becoming your friends in the days before the event to let them know you're excited to see them there. But you might hit critical mass of nice, charismatic hypno enthusiasts, as we did, or you might not. If you're going to do this, you have to take pleasure just from the fact that you're meeting and hanging out with people who get your kink, even if it's one dude, and to realize that no matter how small, every time your event connects two hypnokinksters in real life you are stacking a building block towards something wonderful.
Second, it's very possible that there are barriers to coming or enjoying themselves that are invisible to people in your demo and mine (older straight white cis men) . I would seek out at least advice, and ideally equal co organizers, with real power to override decisions, with quite different perspectives and lived experiences. No matter how well read and alert we are, there's just no way to avoid blindspots through not having lived it. The biggest thing is that femme folks are going to be hyper watchful for whether you are going to creep on them, and how you as an organizer will handle things if they get creeped on by other attendees. Messing that up is where you have enormous potential to lose people and stunt the growth of your event. Two concrete things in that direction: have a consent policy, and believe consent reports the first time, without any second guessing of the reporters judgment or actions. Then take action based on them.
Finally, and this is very hypno specific, let people see the thing. We're lucky that our kink can be practiced in semipublic without getting unwanted attention, or violating bystander consent. (for one thing our kink is protected by a cloaking device of "that looks like some new age bullshit, or possibly an improv class") So put the effort into finding a venue where you can have a bit of privacy, like a restaurant back room or quiet corner of a large coffee shop. This is very difficult! (dying franchises and old legacy restaurants are your friend) but as soon as we did events got way more exciting and fun. Having some structure to ensure that stuff really happens was a huge leap too. For some this is a planned class. For us, it was the koala box that made things completely blow up: that is, pulling pieces of paper out of pringles can about what people would like to see demonstrated and then asking for volunteers to top and bottom. It's less hierarchical and more participatory than having a designated teacher, and this probably works better for some attendees and worse for others, but helps to make the flavour of BEHIVE. Keep in mind that there will be munch attendees who are uncomfortable watching hypnosis scenes, even ones that are not explicitly sexual, so it's a good idea to "wall off" the practice part and give people a chance to gracefully make an exit before then.
Good luck! This is what I do with basically all my free time, and it's giving back so much. I had a vision of how big and thriving Boston hypno could be, and it only took literal years for us to get there. But I enjoyed every step of the way, and I think that made all the difference.
I have been involved with the Boston hypno munch group now known as BEHIVE for the past 5 years. Wednesday night we had 22 people, but for much of my history it was often very small.
First, keep on keeping on. You have to be ridiculously consistent, and accept that it's going to be small for a long long time. This is a niche kink, and these things take forever to get going anyway. The important thing is to make whoever shows up feel like this is the place to be, this is the party, and to be glad they came - phrases to be avoided at all costs are "I guess this is everyone who's coming?" and "It's weird, where are all the people who RSVPed..." One that that has helped is thinking of it as personal relationships, and reaching out to the people who are becoming your friends in the days before the event to let them know you're excited to see them there. But you might hit critical mass of nice, charismatic hypno enthusiasts, as we did, or you might not. If you're going to do this, you have to take pleasure just from the fact that you're meeting and hanging out with people who get your kink, even if it's one dude, and to realize that no matter how small, every time your event connects two hypnokinksters in real life you are stacking a building block towards something wonderful.
Second, it's very possible that there are barriers to coming or enjoying themselves that are invisible to people in your demo and mine (older straight white cis men) . I would seek out at least advice, and ideally equal co organizers, with real power to override decisions, with quite different perspectives and lived experiences. No matter how well read and alert we are, there's just no way to avoid blindspots through not having lived it. The biggest thing is that femme folks are going to be hyper watchful for whether you are going to creep on them, and how you as an organizer will handle things if they get creeped on by other attendees. Messing that up is where you have enormous potential to lose people and stunt the growth of your event. Two concrete things in that direction: have a consent policy, and believe consent reports the first time, without any second guessing of the reporters judgment or actions. Then take action based on them.
Finally, and this is very hypno specific, let people see the thing. We're lucky that our kink can be practiced in semipublic without getting unwanted attention, or violating bystander consent. (for one thing our kink is protected by a cloaking device of "that looks like some new age bullshit, or possibly an improv class") So put the effort into finding a venue where you can have a bit of privacy, like a restaurant back room or quiet corner of a large coffee shop. This is very difficult! (dying franchises and old legacy restaurants are your friend) but as soon as we did events got way more exciting and fun. Having some structure to ensure that stuff really happens was a huge leap too. For some this is a planned class. For us, it was the koala box that made things completely blow up: that is, pulling pieces of paper out of pringles can about what people would like to see demonstrated and then asking for volunteers to top and bottom. It's less hierarchical and more participatory than having a designated teacher, and this probably works better for some attendees and worse for others, but helps to make the flavour of BEHIVE. Keep in mind that there will be munch attendees who are uncomfortable watching hypnosis scenes, even ones that are not explicitly sexual, so it's a good idea to "wall off" the practice part and give people a chance to gracefully make an exit before then.
Good luck! This is what I do with basically all my free time, and it's giving back so much. I had a vision of how big and thriving Boston hypno could be, and it only took literal years for us to get there. But I enjoyed every step of the way, and I think that made all the difference.
