Yesterday I had my first experience trancing with someone via Skype. A lot of people I've met do much or even most of their hypnosis remotely, whether by text chat, voice, or video. (one friend of mine is trancing with one hypnotist in France, and one in Australia!) At this point in my development I'm not interested in text or voice - too little feedback for this beginner, and not so rewarding - but video seemsed like a better prospect. My partner was Chel, and it was nice to connect with her in this way remotely, so soon after our last visit.
It took a long time to get the connection set up, the lighting good, and the laptops in position (I told her on her lap wasn't going to work!) By the time we had chatted a little bit to get used to it, it was at least 40 minutes in. I got started on the induction she had enjoyed before, progressive relaxation plus metronome, and soon she was on her way into trance.
Overall, she said the trances were not as deep, and the sound-based reinduction trigger I gave her during the first trance (the same phrase plus a finger snap) did not work the first time, as it did when I was with her on the bed and put my hand on shoulder. This demonstrated to me how a lot of hypnotic power is gained by the hypnotist's physical presence, and touch. The reinduction trigger did begin to work after that, but at least the first few times she said it felt like she had to "get behind it and push".
More hiccups. Chel was able to feel the sensation of a paddle on her backside the first time I suggested it, and it was gratifying to see her whole body flinch. But that amount of movement took her much of the way out of trance, since she associates immobility with being in a trance. So even though she flinched with the subsequent strikes (including both cheeks at once, try that in real life without a friend to help!) they felt fainter - an interesting demonstration of a direct relationship between focus and strength of sensation. She was also distracted by the conflict between feeling her bottom on the chair and the paddle sensations.
Then came something I most certainly should have prepared for: Skype crashing while Chel was in a trance. I frantically redialed. She picked up, and I found that all was well: she said she had felt nervous at first, when she realized we were cut off, with the thought that she would be "stuck in trance", but the idea was so absurd that she laughed herself out of trance. I got lucky this time - someone else could have experienced more distress. I must have special suggestions for this eventuality.
Another tip is that if you want someone to hallucinate hearing a song, make sure they actually have it memorized: Chel was quite frustrated trying to remember how "Blue Monday" (a very long, complex song) went. It definitely woke her up trying to piece it together.
The last trance we did was where things got sexy, but she felt barely in a trance at all (which would mean that she made it sexy herself!) For example she didn't at all feel the illusion that her hands were a stranger's hands moving on her body. Apparently something I had noticed, a churning sound caused by Skype feedback, was also on her end and had made it difficult to focus. Two takeaways from that: I did a poor job of picking up on her level of trance, and you should use headphones or at least external speakers to avoid feedback.
On the one hand it was a chance to do hypnosis with someone I'm very close to, and where we had some sexy times towards the end. On the other, apart from the technical bloopers, I really missed many things I wouldn't have even thought of: the tiny changes in facial expression that skype didn't capture, and the almost-subliminal breathing sounds, and other small things that both help me to monitor the trance, and serve as my reward even when suggestions don't work out. And of course touch - it was a real letdown to not be able to cuddle or even hug at the end (literally the first time I haven't hugged my trancee after a session). Afterwards I felt further from her than I expected to. (I also felt exhausted - I'm sure when I'm better than this I'll use much fewer words) I realize a lot of the things I'm bitching about are just part of cybersex, but I guess I've never gotten into that.
As my skills develop, I'll have more flexibility and resourcefulness to make online trancing go better, not to mention avoiding these beginner mistakes. I also might find more motivation for doing it, but for now it doesn't have much appeal to me.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Serious Scientific Proof of the Reality of Hypnosis
But before I had any experience of hypnosis, I longed for objective proof of its reality, taking a particular form: showing that hypnotized people can do something unhypnotized people can't. This is more convincing than showing that a hypnotized person can't do something, since they just might not be trying hard enough. But if someone not in a trance can't do it, then it can't be faked.
I recently ran across a paper by chance that has that very evidence, Kallio et al. 2013. Luckily it's in an open-access journal, so you can read it easily. This paper shows that one highly-hypnotizable participant can make eye movements, while in a trance, that unhypnotized people, and herself out of trance, can't make. In one task, participants look at a dot in the center of a computer monitor, while their eye movements are recorded. Then the central dot disappears, and another dot appears, and they must look at this new dot. Their hypnotee, TS-H, when hypnotized, instead of moving her eyes right to the new target, would move her gaze in intermediary short jumps towards it. The control subjects were told to mimic this pattern as well as they could. They absolutely could not. Most of the time their eyes went right to the new dot when it appeared. And the same thing went for TS-H, in those trials where she wasn't hypnotized. You can watch videos comparing the hypnotized eye movements with the unhypnotized.
The second thing TS-H could do while hypnotized that unhypnotized people couldn't imitate was to avoid responding to sliding black and white vertical bars with what is called an optokinetic reflex. This is a pattern of eye movements where even though you are trying to keep your eyes still, they still slide with the background, then jump back into place. You can see it in action in the movie of the control subjects (who were, again, consciously trying to imitate the hypnotized eye movements), and then be amazed at the movie of the hypnotized TS-H with the grating, showing a reduction or elimination of this reflex. And again, she was unable to reproduce the result herself while not hypnotized.
There were a couple of other dramatic observations they made of the hypnotic state which don't fall into this unfakeable category. TS-H's blink rate slowed down to 10% of normal, and her pupils were actually slightly - but significantly - smaller. All these results are making me want to experiment more with what they call the Hypnotically Induced Stare - I generally don't have my hypnotees open their eyes, and when they do I haven't been paying so much attention to the blink rate and eye movements. It's not clear whether all hypnotized people are supposed to have this phenomenon, in fact they make some muddy statements about this.
The subtext for me is the fact that they found someone with such a powerful, reliable hypnotic state that they could do precise experimentation with it. TS-H is literally off the charts hypnotizable, and able to go in and out in a split second. In the experimental trials where she was supposed to be hypnotized, all they did was to give her the post-hypnotic trigger word "hypno" immediately before. You can watch the intriguing video of her going in and out of trance on command. She also has spontaneous amnesia of all of her trances, which seems to be quite unusual - and useful in another cool study from Kallio's lab, where she is meant to be blinded to which hypnotic condition she is operating under (conditions such as "the square shapes will appear blue". Success with posthypnotic visual hallucinations are another rarity!)
Yes, they have done at least a half dozen studies with this one participant, often with all the hypnotized data coming only from her. A strange relationship, reminding me of many long term scientist-case-study relationships. While it's hard to say how applicable her behaviour is to the hypnotic states most people experience, I find this evidence objectively convincing that it is a distinct state. And it would sure be fun to trance with someone that insanely hypnotizable.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Why Keep Trying with Someone Who is Hard to Hypnotize?
I only get to see Chel (not her real name) at long spaced intervals - she lives over 700 miles away - but whenever I do there's a powerful emotional and sexual connection. She's the first person I ever hypnotized, tremblingly and poorly (from Peter Masters' book). When I saw her recently I was so excited to show her how my skills had grown.
It didn't go well. She busted out of the fixation induction before it was done, and found the Elman induction annoying. I got her just barely under with 7 +/- 2, which I thought would be good for her highly analytical mind - but she said later that even while trying to monitor 8 things at once, she still had left over capacity to question to herself whether anything was happening! None of the deepeners I tried had much effect. I set myself to talking her hand into feeling light and lifting up off her leg, which it did eventually, but not for many, many minutes and only a little way. Then I suggested she would feel frozen in place for 30 seconds when she woke up. This didn't work even a little bit.
Hypnosis play is always sexy for me, and so was this, but at that point I was ready to set it aside for the rest of the visit, and focus on the many other hot and kinky activities we had available to us. But later Chel came to me and said she wanted to try it again.
Why keep going with someone who had told me from the beginning she scored low on tests of hypnotizability - and certainly hadn't had much success with my (still immature) hypnotic skills? I realized that Chel actually has many wonderful qualities for a hypnotee: she has sharp self-insight and a commitment to honesty (she always told me exactly what went well or didn't work at all), and she has a powerful imagination. Most importantly, we have a close, trusting relationship - and she's excited about doing hypnosis.
So we tried it again, but with a very important change: I listened to what she'd been trying to tell me all along, about what she wants out of hypnosis. In fact she had given me a hugely important roadmap, that I had ignored, in her description of her self-hypnosis episode, in the hot-and-heavy email exchange leading up to the visit. She had described lying on the bed and imagining her body becoming heavy and immobile, and how much she'd enjoyed the mental place of being out of control. She had repeated the hypnotic mantra we'd chosen together, and felt helpless and submissive.
Wiseguy doesn't like the progressive relaxation induction, and one of his objections, that it makes it impossible to do active things, certainly seemed to be true with the floating arm test (she later told me she had felt resentment about having to move). But clearly it was called for at this time. I had her undress and lie down, and also started a metronome sound on my phone, since she is auditory and had enjoyed that in the very first trances we'd had. I relaxed the muscles in her body from her feet up to her scalp, repeating suggestions that her body parts would feel heavy and sink into the bed. Finally, Chel was deeply and pleasurably entranced.
I gave her plenty of the suggestions she enjoys, of being helpless and unable to move, which made her moan in pleasure. I also suggested that her skin would become more sensitive, and she gasped at my hand stroking her body and tweaking her nipples. I took a risk and decided to introduce a reinduction trigger (we had negotiated this as a possibility), something that hasn't worked with every hypnotee I've tried it with. The language I used kept coming back to her trust in me, and how falling into trance is a way that she can submit to me. I also used a touch association, my hand on her shoulder, which I haven't done in the past but which I think can add a lot of power. I also told her to take all the time she needed to incorporate it deeply into her mind, and to give a nod when she was ready (she later said this had been a big help).
I didn't give myself too much time to think about it when she came out of trance, but gave her the trigger quickly. She seemed to consider it for a moment, and then her eyes shut and her head relaxed to the side. I'll never get tired of seeing that. I brought her up and she was just as pleased and amazed as me. We kept going, over and over, in and out of trance, with me quickly deepening her with a stream of relaxation suggestions whenever she responded to the trigger. That busy analytical mind turned out to be a great ally, since it loved to instantly let go, when it felt trusting enough to do so. And it loves the feeling of trance: "I feel so pampered," she said.
Although the suggestions we worked on all had in common that they did not require much body movement, there was still an incredible amount of fun to be had with just a reinduction trigger. So paralysis, sensitization, guided imagery, and repetition of the mantra (her own mind decided that it would get harder and harder to say clearly the more hypnotized she got, which was exciting to listen to) And then later on, the trigger allowed for her to go into a trance sitting in a cemetary, on a bench with my arm around her. This trance turned out to be one of the most beautiful and moving experiences I've ever had. If we don't decide it was too personal, I will probably write a separate blog entry about that.
Every time I get to do an extended hypnosis session with someone, that's my school, more than any workshop I could ever take. There's a lot of lessons I learned from trancing with Chel, but the biggest one is that anyone who is drawn to hypnosis can be a good hypnotee: it's only a matter of listening, experimenting, and tuning into what they want and expect out of hypnosis. And that like D/s, the deeper the trust gets, the more powerful and amazing the hypnosis gets. And that kind of extraordinarily deep trust, where things start getting amazing, is something you're only ever going to get with a few special people over the course of your life.
It didn't go well. She busted out of the fixation induction before it was done, and found the Elman induction annoying. I got her just barely under with 7 +/- 2, which I thought would be good for her highly analytical mind - but she said later that even while trying to monitor 8 things at once, she still had left over capacity to question to herself whether anything was happening! None of the deepeners I tried had much effect. I set myself to talking her hand into feeling light and lifting up off her leg, which it did eventually, but not for many, many minutes and only a little way. Then I suggested she would feel frozen in place for 30 seconds when she woke up. This didn't work even a little bit.
Hypnosis play is always sexy for me, and so was this, but at that point I was ready to set it aside for the rest of the visit, and focus on the many other hot and kinky activities we had available to us. But later Chel came to me and said she wanted to try it again.
Why keep going with someone who had told me from the beginning she scored low on tests of hypnotizability - and certainly hadn't had much success with my (still immature) hypnotic skills? I realized that Chel actually has many wonderful qualities for a hypnotee: she has sharp self-insight and a commitment to honesty (she always told me exactly what went well or didn't work at all), and she has a powerful imagination. Most importantly, we have a close, trusting relationship - and she's excited about doing hypnosis.
So we tried it again, but with a very important change: I listened to what she'd been trying to tell me all along, about what she wants out of hypnosis. In fact she had given me a hugely important roadmap, that I had ignored, in her description of her self-hypnosis episode, in the hot-and-heavy email exchange leading up to the visit. She had described lying on the bed and imagining her body becoming heavy and immobile, and how much she'd enjoyed the mental place of being out of control. She had repeated the hypnotic mantra we'd chosen together, and felt helpless and submissive.
Wiseguy doesn't like the progressive relaxation induction, and one of his objections, that it makes it impossible to do active things, certainly seemed to be true with the floating arm test (she later told me she had felt resentment about having to move). But clearly it was called for at this time. I had her undress and lie down, and also started a metronome sound on my phone, since she is auditory and had enjoyed that in the very first trances we'd had. I relaxed the muscles in her body from her feet up to her scalp, repeating suggestions that her body parts would feel heavy and sink into the bed. Finally, Chel was deeply and pleasurably entranced.
I gave her plenty of the suggestions she enjoys, of being helpless and unable to move, which made her moan in pleasure. I also suggested that her skin would become more sensitive, and she gasped at my hand stroking her body and tweaking her nipples. I took a risk and decided to introduce a reinduction trigger (we had negotiated this as a possibility), something that hasn't worked with every hypnotee I've tried it with. The language I used kept coming back to her trust in me, and how falling into trance is a way that she can submit to me. I also used a touch association, my hand on her shoulder, which I haven't done in the past but which I think can add a lot of power. I also told her to take all the time she needed to incorporate it deeply into her mind, and to give a nod when she was ready (she later said this had been a big help).
I didn't give myself too much time to think about it when she came out of trance, but gave her the trigger quickly. She seemed to consider it for a moment, and then her eyes shut and her head relaxed to the side. I'll never get tired of seeing that. I brought her up and she was just as pleased and amazed as me. We kept going, over and over, in and out of trance, with me quickly deepening her with a stream of relaxation suggestions whenever she responded to the trigger. That busy analytical mind turned out to be a great ally, since it loved to instantly let go, when it felt trusting enough to do so. And it loves the feeling of trance: "I feel so pampered," she said.
Although the suggestions we worked on all had in common that they did not require much body movement, there was still an incredible amount of fun to be had with just a reinduction trigger. So paralysis, sensitization, guided imagery, and repetition of the mantra (her own mind decided that it would get harder and harder to say clearly the more hypnotized she got, which was exciting to listen to) And then later on, the trigger allowed for her to go into a trance sitting in a cemetary, on a bench with my arm around her. This trance turned out to be one of the most beautiful and moving experiences I've ever had. If we don't decide it was too personal, I will probably write a separate blog entry about that.
Every time I get to do an extended hypnosis session with someone, that's my school, more than any workshop I could ever take. There's a lot of lessons I learned from trancing with Chel, but the biggest one is that anyone who is drawn to hypnosis can be a good hypnotee: it's only a matter of listening, experimenting, and tuning into what they want and expect out of hypnosis. And that like D/s, the deeper the trust gets, the more powerful and amazing the hypnosis gets. And that kind of extraordinarily deep trust, where things start getting amazing, is something you're only ever going to get with a few special people over the course of your life.
Monday, September 16, 2013
The Hypnotee Guides the Way
Had an interesting experience which underlined for me how paying attention to the hypnotee's experience is all important. I was guiding her through the "floating in space" deepener, describing how she was drifting out of her body, up through the ceiling of the house, and into the sky. I described Boston from the air, then the whole northeast, then all of the united states, ending up with the image of peacefully floating way up there above the world with a gentle night wind brushing past.
After the trance, my hypnotee told me that she had struggled with it, because my words weren't matching up with her imagination. She was floating up very quickly, and when I said, e.g., "you can see the lights of the skyscrapers of Boston", she thought she had blown past that height a long time ago. She experienced a readjustment - maybe even a drop! And that disrupted the trance a little. How strange is the subconscious, that it accepted my suggestion that she would float up out of her body and into the air, but insisted on picking its own velocity?
This was great feedback, because then for the second trance I first of all, took into account that she would rise up much more quickly, and second, added language that she would pick her own pace, and hit certain heights when it felt natural for her. The deepener was much more effective for her without the distraction of the height mismatch.
So, listening is 90% of how you get to be a good hypnotist for a particular hypnotee. Later I guided her through a hot hypnotic bondage visualization, which I based entirely on repeating imagery from a specific bondage scene she had just told me about. (and luckily the sound of someone receiving a good spanking just outside the door was something that her subconscious mind could actively incorporate into her experience!) I think this approach can be a reliable standby: listening to a treasured sexy memory, and then using hypnosis to help the hypnotee reexperience it vividly. The more details from the interview I can incorporate, the better. The hypnotee guides the way.
After the trance, my hypnotee told me that she had struggled with it, because my words weren't matching up with her imagination. She was floating up very quickly, and when I said, e.g., "you can see the lights of the skyscrapers of Boston", she thought she had blown past that height a long time ago. She experienced a readjustment - maybe even a drop! And that disrupted the trance a little. How strange is the subconscious, that it accepted my suggestion that she would float up out of her body and into the air, but insisted on picking its own velocity?
This was great feedback, because then for the second trance I first of all, took into account that she would rise up much more quickly, and second, added language that she would pick her own pace, and hit certain heights when it felt natural for her. The deepener was much more effective for her without the distraction of the height mismatch.
So, listening is 90% of how you get to be a good hypnotist for a particular hypnotee. Later I guided her through a hot hypnotic bondage visualization, which I based entirely on repeating imagery from a specific bondage scene she had just told me about. (and luckily the sound of someone receiving a good spanking just outside the door was something that her subconscious mind could actively incorporate into her experience!) I think this approach can be a reliable standby: listening to a treasured sexy memory, and then using hypnosis to help the hypnotee reexperience it vividly. The more details from the interview I can incorporate, the better. The hypnotee guides the way.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Beautiful Inductions by Jukebox
My friend pointed me to this writing, which is part of the weird and fascinating branch of hypnofetish that is written inductions. The idea is that just by reading the text, you can find yourself falling into trance, and even following suggestions.
Could such a thing possibly work for you? The only way to find out is to try it:
Zero (this contains an induction, suggestion to masturbate to orgasm, and then wakeup; no permanent triggers)
I think this must be a particularly powerful and beautiful example, and unusual for its use of math concepts, in a way that isn't jarring. Although I'm not a very skilled hypno bottom, or inclined to trust my mind to a stranger on the internet, I still feel the pull of the words in this file - with masterful use of indirect language patterns - and parts of it give me chills. Like the part where he uses zero like twelve times in a sentence.
Is this something I could use in my face-to-face trancing? It's not a good idea to read scripts while hypnotizing, and the full structure of this seems too intricate to memorize. These kind of scripts have to be tight to keep the reader enraptured, with more of a demand for originality and artistry than an in-person induction. Still, I can steal ideas and phrases from this, and maybe construct a streamlined version. In a broader sense, I think this is a welcome corrective to me starting to think of inductions in very utilitarian terms: what is the shortest distance to get a particular hypnotee into a trance. It's a reminder that inductions have different flavours (addressing one of my obstinate questions!), with unique pleasures, and that you can make much more of them, either to make your suggestions more effective, or for their own sake. And there's powerful imagery in here, and excellent mind tricks. I hope to eventually get to the level of skill as a hypnotist that I can write them myself.
The author, Jukebox, I already know well as this incredible geyser of creativity on the Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive. Literally dozens of my favourite stories turn out to be his, as some of the cleverest, best executed, and hottest on the site - and fact, if everything but the Jukebox stories was deleted, there would still be enough to keep a hypnofetishist satisfied for years. Now this is a delightful new dimension of his writing talent for me to explore. I always skipped the inductions when this was all fantasy, but now that I'm learning to be a hypnotist for real, there's plenty to learn.
Actually, upon reading a few more, I'm not at all sure that these are necessarily meant to entrance the reader - for example the scripts that suggest closing your eyes, which would seem to pose real difficulties. And some of them have posthypnotic triggers tied to the hypnotist, who of course is not present. I actually think that contrary to what I wrote above, hypnofetishists would very much enjoy having these read to them, or, more likely, to read and enjoy the fantasy of falling into trance. But I still put in warnings just in case. There isn't any other junk in these besides what I mention.
I'm most impressed by the different themes and moods of these inductions. For example, here's one based on falling snow:
Winter Wonderland (undressing, masturbating to orgasm)
And another based on falling leaves in autumn and the general theme of changing of the seasons :
Changes (orgasm)
This one is based on taking a journey :
The Long and Winding Road (masturbating to orgasm)
Here are links to the rest of his induction scripts that I found, since there's no easy way on the site to just select them:
Deeper and Deeper (orgasm)
Every Breath You Take (masturbating to orgasm, orgasm)
Here Comes the Rain Again (undressing, masturbating to orgasm)
Imagine (undressing, orgasm, amnesia for the session)
Relax (undressing, masturbating to orgasm)
Surrender (undressing, masturbating to orgasm; heavy D/s theme)
You're the Inspiration (masturbating to orgasm, rereading the story)
(I'm noticing a theme here! You could argue that if someone points their browser to the EMCSA they are probably looking to get off anyway, but I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of highly hypnotizable people possibly being drawn into a sexual experience they didn't consent to)
Could such a thing possibly work for you? The only way to find out is to try it:
Zero (this contains an induction, suggestion to masturbate to orgasm, and then wakeup; no permanent triggers)
I think this must be a particularly powerful and beautiful example, and unusual for its use of math concepts, in a way that isn't jarring. Although I'm not a very skilled hypno bottom, or inclined to trust my mind to a stranger on the internet, I still feel the pull of the words in this file - with masterful use of indirect language patterns - and parts of it give me chills. Like the part where he uses zero like twelve times in a sentence.
Is this something I could use in my face-to-face trancing? It's not a good idea to read scripts while hypnotizing, and the full structure of this seems too intricate to memorize. These kind of scripts have to be tight to keep the reader enraptured, with more of a demand for originality and artistry than an in-person induction. Still, I can steal ideas and phrases from this, and maybe construct a streamlined version. In a broader sense, I think this is a welcome corrective to me starting to think of inductions in very utilitarian terms: what is the shortest distance to get a particular hypnotee into a trance. It's a reminder that inductions have different flavours (addressing one of my obstinate questions!), with unique pleasures, and that you can make much more of them, either to make your suggestions more effective, or for their own sake. And there's powerful imagery in here, and excellent mind tricks. I hope to eventually get to the level of skill as a hypnotist that I can write them myself.
The author, Jukebox, I already know well as this incredible geyser of creativity on the Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive. Literally dozens of my favourite stories turn out to be his, as some of the cleverest, best executed, and hottest on the site - and fact, if everything but the Jukebox stories was deleted, there would still be enough to keep a hypnofetishist satisfied for years. Now this is a delightful new dimension of his writing talent for me to explore. I always skipped the inductions when this was all fantasy, but now that I'm learning to be a hypnotist for real, there's plenty to learn.
Actually, upon reading a few more, I'm not at all sure that these are necessarily meant to entrance the reader - for example the scripts that suggest closing your eyes, which would seem to pose real difficulties. And some of them have posthypnotic triggers tied to the hypnotist, who of course is not present. I actually think that contrary to what I wrote above, hypnofetishists would very much enjoy having these read to them, or, more likely, to read and enjoy the fantasy of falling into trance. But I still put in warnings just in case. There isn't any other junk in these besides what I mention.
I'm most impressed by the different themes and moods of these inductions. For example, here's one based on falling snow:
Winter Wonderland (undressing, masturbating to orgasm)
And another based on falling leaves in autumn and the general theme of changing of the seasons :
Changes (orgasm)
This one is based on taking a journey :
The Long and Winding Road (masturbating to orgasm)
Here are links to the rest of his induction scripts that I found, since there's no easy way on the site to just select them:
Deeper and Deeper (orgasm)
Every Breath You Take (masturbating to orgasm, orgasm)
Here Comes the Rain Again (undressing, masturbating to orgasm)
Imagine (undressing, orgasm, amnesia for the session)
Relax (undressing, masturbating to orgasm)
Surrender (undressing, masturbating to orgasm; heavy D/s theme)
You're the Inspiration (masturbating to orgasm, rereading the story)
(I'm noticing a theme here! You could argue that if someone points their browser to the EMCSA they are probably looking to get off anyway, but I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of highly hypnotizable people possibly being drawn into a sexual experience they didn't consent to)
Monday, September 9, 2013
Hypnotic Orgasms are Real
It's a bit silly that I was still asking the question of whether hypnotic orgasms are possible. That is, considering the amount of time I've spent reading first-hand accounts and watching videos (not purely for academic interest I must confess), not to mention seeing it in person at Wiseguy's amazing Boston-area event. But like with non-hypnotic orgasms, the first hypnotic orgasm I made happen felt like a very big deal, and obliterates that question for me once and for all.
That's really the message of the post ("HURRAY!!!"), but I'll give a few more details. There was a lot of fooling around beforehand, some hypnotic and some not, which probably helped. I asked my hypnotee if orgasms were something they struggled with, or that had been a point of contention in relationships - for some people just the concept of a partner wanting you to have an orgasm can be tied to a lot of anxiety or annoyance, and I wouldn't want to even try for it if that was the case. They said no. I had consent to go as far as an orgasm, but I didn't mention this was my plan for this particular trance. I knew it would feel good no matter what, and wanted to avoid pressure to perform a certain way.
I took them into a trance lying down on their side, with only a little bit of deepening. I used the approach from the "Come on command" section of Wiseguy's book (minus the long-term trigger), which involves directing the hypnotee to remember a specific, powerful orgasm, and to immerse themselves in the memory. Then I just kept repeating suggestions that the memory was getting more powerful, and the arousal and pleasure was growing, stronger and stronger, and that they were capable of having that orgasm all over again - but not until I said so. After a little while of this, perhaps even only a couple of minutes - I lose track of time myself when I'm guiding someone in a trance - it looked like they were close. I asked them if they were ready to come, and got a nodded "yes". I put my hand on their shoulder and told them to come now. Afterward, I told them to just enjoy the sensations, and bring themselves out of trance as slowly as they wanted. I would say the trance from beginning to end was probably less than 20 minutes (not counting cuddles afterward).
I'm happy to be familiar with the sights and sounds of an orgasm, especially when there's an obvious come-down afterward, so I was quite sure it had happened. But I still did the ungentlemanly thing of asking them afterwards ("it's ok," they said, "it's for science"). Confirmed - though it wasn't as strong as the one they'd had in mind. But they enjoyed it.
I made someone come just by talking to them. No touching at all, until I put my hand on their shoulder. That was such a powerful sexual experience for me, and stood out even among all the other very excellent moments of that evening. It's just the beginning, but I'll never forget it.
That's really the message of the post ("HURRAY!!!"), but I'll give a few more details. There was a lot of fooling around beforehand, some hypnotic and some not, which probably helped. I asked my hypnotee if orgasms were something they struggled with, or that had been a point of contention in relationships - for some people just the concept of a partner wanting you to have an orgasm can be tied to a lot of anxiety or annoyance, and I wouldn't want to even try for it if that was the case. They said no. I had consent to go as far as an orgasm, but I didn't mention this was my plan for this particular trance. I knew it would feel good no matter what, and wanted to avoid pressure to perform a certain way.
I took them into a trance lying down on their side, with only a little bit of deepening. I used the approach from the "Come on command" section of Wiseguy's book (minus the long-term trigger), which involves directing the hypnotee to remember a specific, powerful orgasm, and to immerse themselves in the memory. Then I just kept repeating suggestions that the memory was getting more powerful, and the arousal and pleasure was growing, stronger and stronger, and that they were capable of having that orgasm all over again - but not until I said so. After a little while of this, perhaps even only a couple of minutes - I lose track of time myself when I'm guiding someone in a trance - it looked like they were close. I asked them if they were ready to come, and got a nodded "yes". I put my hand on their shoulder and told them to come now. Afterward, I told them to just enjoy the sensations, and bring themselves out of trance as slowly as they wanted. I would say the trance from beginning to end was probably less than 20 minutes (not counting cuddles afterward).
I'm happy to be familiar with the sights and sounds of an orgasm, especially when there's an obvious come-down afterward, so I was quite sure it had happened. But I still did the ungentlemanly thing of asking them afterwards ("it's ok," they said, "it's for science"). Confirmed - though it wasn't as strong as the one they'd had in mind. But they enjoyed it.
I made someone come just by talking to them. No touching at all, until I put my hand on their shoulder. That was such a powerful sexual experience for me, and stood out even among all the other very excellent moments of that evening. It's just the beginning, but I'll never forget it.
My Hypnotist Ethics (version 1)
By posting my rules publicly, I know that they can be used to critique me, but that's actually a feature since I believe in everything in here, and should be called on my mistakes. I expect that it will evolve over time, in particular that new things will be added, but I think most of these will hold.
I only include things that I think are both possible, and conceivable that they might come up for me (e.g. I don't need to say, no commanding people to be my assassins, or to only be able to go into a trance with me)
The principle underlying all of these is this: Hypnosis is play, and everything besides a simple trance-and-test is heavy play on the order of flogging, bondage, or serious D/s, that requires a high level of trust and consent. Trust consists of two things: belief that the other person knows what you're comfortable and uncomfortable with, and belief that they won't intentionally do things that you're uncomfortable with. There’s room for fucking up on the first point, but not the second.
Here are my current rules:
I only include things that I think are both possible, and conceivable that they might come up for me (e.g. I don't need to say, no commanding people to be my assassins, or to only be able to go into a trance with me)
The principle underlying all of these is this: Hypnosis is play, and everything besides a simple trance-and-test is heavy play on the order of flogging, bondage, or serious D/s, that requires a high level of trust and consent. Trust consists of two things: belief that the other person knows what you're comfortable and uncomfortable with, and belief that they won't intentionally do things that you're uncomfortable with. There’s room for fucking up on the first point, but not the second.
Here are my current rules:
- No hypnotherapy, with the sole exception of helping someone to calm down in the moment or take a mental vacation.
- No suggestions that the person wouldn't feel comfortable with if they heard them while not in a trance.
- No hypnotic amnesia lasting beyond the current session. With that exception, actively helping the hypnotee to remember every part of the trance every time.
- I will always do a pretrance check for phobias and other aversions, and do my best in general try to discover any areas that might be uncomfortable to go into (while being prepared to deal with unexpected ones that might come up).
- Each new class of suggestion must be negotiated out of trance, as well as major escalations in them. For the first few trances, I will describe the suggestions in detail and get consent for all of them.
- Any long term hypnotic triggers must be extensively discussed out of trance, and also negotiated with any committed partners of the hypnotee.
- No sexual, humiliating, or dominating suggestions unless those are established parts of our relationship out of trance.
- In particular to be sensitive to what each partner might find humiliating, which may be context-dependent, and never to push on that limit.
- No using hypnosis to seduce. It has an inherently seductive aspect, in that it's intimate and shows off a skill, but no attempting to use suggestions to change the way someone feels about me.
- No attempting to change anything about a partner (at most, adding bonus features, e.g. hypnotic triggers).
- Never to make a trance partner feel bad for lack of response to a type of suggestion, or for not wanting to try a type of suggestion.
- No hypnotizing people without consent, e.g. using sneaky language, or using my partner's reinduction triggers without asking permission first. Exception: if we have negotiated that type of relationship.
- I will stay tuned in and focused on the person I have hypnotized, looking for any signs of discomfort. Over a long trance I will check in verbally on a regular basis. I will never leave the hypnotee alone for more than a minute or so. If I see another hypnotist not paying attention, to first look out for their hypnotee, and then confront them about it.
- I will actively police my local community of hypnotists online and offline, and confront people about behavior that I see as unethical (not necessarily to the extent of this ethics)
- I will keep tabs on my hypnotees for a period of time after the trance, and check in with them, to see what they need.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
NEHG Study Group Meeting
This week I went to my first meeting of the New England Hypnosis Group study group (their 2nd), which is another great initiative by Photojoseph to promote hypnosis in Boston (along with the HypnoMunch). The idea is that everyone reads a couple of sections from Mind Play by Wiseguy, and then we have a presentation and discussion focusing on specific topics.
There were 12 people in a private apartment, including a good mix of people who were primarily hypnotists and who were primarily hypnotees.
The topics we talked about were myths about hypnotism, abreactions (the rare negative emotional reactions people can have during hypnosis) and how to deal with them, the eye fixation induction using shiny objects, the floating-in-space deepener, and a little bit of short term amnesia (the pop quiz). So we covered a ton of ground - it went a little long, but I certainly got a lot of education value. Some of the interesting things that came up:
I also had the chance to test the reinduction trigger I had been working on with a partner. We were both a little disappointed that it no longer had any effect, despite it working very well in the initial session only 72 hours earlier. But I take it as valuable feedback, and I will be very curious whether certain things will make it more long-lasting, like simple repetition of the trigger-installation, the technique used for introducing the trigger, or the aptitudes of the partner - perhaps some are able to hold onto suggestions for longer than others.
I would recommend this series for anyone seriously trying to learn hypnosis, or to be a good hypnotee by learning about the hypnotist perspective. Unlike the munches, which are primarily about connecting people and giving basic information, the emphasis is on sharing our experiences on focused topics. Also unlike the munches, there's a chance to put these ideas into play in private. It is meant to be held on the 2nd monday of each month. The next event listing doesn't seem to be up yet, but you can check the listings on the fetlife New England Hypnosis Group page.
There were 12 people in a private apartment, including a good mix of people who were primarily hypnotists and who were primarily hypnotees.
The topics we talked about were myths about hypnotism, abreactions (the rare negative emotional reactions people can have during hypnosis) and how to deal with them, the eye fixation induction using shiny objects, the floating-in-space deepener, and a little bit of short term amnesia (the pop quiz). So we covered a ton of ground - it went a little long, but I certainly got a lot of education value. Some of the interesting things that came up:
- Good questions to have in any pre-chat are phobias, allergies (which are things that are fearful for very real reasons), and anything else that should be avoided to have the most pleasant and awesome trance experience.
- Probably a good idea to get those negative questions out of the way first and then discuss the positive things the hypnotee wants out of a trance, so the phobias etc are not the last things on the hypnotee's mind when they go under.
- In discussing how the subconscious mind does not process negatives very well, one attendee suggested a very poor suggestion would be, "You're in a room, and there's no snakes." (hilarious)
- One attendee had actually had an experience of having a bad reaction under hypnosis - underlining how rare it is, that she was the only one in the room with firsthand experience - and described how well the hypnotist had calmed her down and led her out of it.
- One attendee suggested that we reread the section on dealing with abreactions every time we refer to the Wiseguy book, so as to always have the steps close to the front of our mind.
- The floating in space deepener posed obstacles for the minds of some of the people in the room: one was concerned about the lack of oxygen up there, while another was nervous about burning up on reentry. I reflected that while you can't control what your hypnotee's mind will bring into the mix, the more you learn about the idiosyncracies the better an experience you can create.
I also had the chance to test the reinduction trigger I had been working on with a partner. We were both a little disappointed that it no longer had any effect, despite it working very well in the initial session only 72 hours earlier. But I take it as valuable feedback, and I will be very curious whether certain things will make it more long-lasting, like simple repetition of the trigger-installation, the technique used for introducing the trigger, or the aptitudes of the partner - perhaps some are able to hold onto suggestions for longer than others.
I would recommend this series for anyone seriously trying to learn hypnosis, or to be a good hypnotee by learning about the hypnotist perspective. Unlike the munches, which are primarily about connecting people and giving basic information, the emphasis is on sharing our experiences on focused topics. Also unlike the munches, there's a chance to put these ideas into play in private. It is meant to be held on the 2nd monday of each month. The next event listing doesn't seem to be up yet, but you can check the listings on the fetlife New England Hypnosis Group page.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Hypnosis is Not Mind Control
Things that can control your mind in fantasy: Magic spells, potions, subliminal audio tracks, electromagnetic waves, enchanted objects, mind control drugs, helmets with flashing lights in them, telepathy, nanobots, hypnosis.
Things that can control your mind in reality: There aren’t any.
I’m not 100% positive about that, although the history of people trying to develop mind control seems to suggest it’s the case.
But what I am sure about is that hypnosis is not mind control. It can’t be said often enough. Here’s my best understanding so far of what hypnosis is: it’s a very focused form of concentration, where your own imagination can make things real for you - including rules like “you can’t pull apart your hands” - that you would normally be too distracted to experience powerfully. But there is a part of you that is in control always, and suggestions it’s not ok with will be rejected. I have observed this firsthand, as a specific test with a very responsive trancee, where she was asked while in deep trance to cluck like a chicken (one of her hard limits). Absolutely nothing happened. The best way to reassure yourself is to experience trance, and discover that you mostly feel like yourself, and mostly feel in control.
Sometimes this is overstated: the so-called “hidden observer” that is ready to veto suggestions and potentially pop you out of trance has limits, is not your full conscious intelligence. It’s a little dopey. My current model is that the risks during trance are similar to when someone has a few drinks in them. A little more gullible, a little more uninhibited. Less prepared to physically resist an assault. But I think ethical judgments and risk assessments can be made on the basis of the alcohol analogy.
I think it’s also possible for a sociopathic person to abuse a trusting relationship with someone to use hypnosis, over a period of time, to help nudge someone towards doing things they’re not ok with or bad mental states. But this is true of any intimate trusting relationship, especially D/s relationships, and I would not see hypnosis as giving someone too much power beyond what a regular psychological manipulator (someone who plays “mind games”) could achieve. And if such a thing is tried, since hypnotic amnesia is not very effective or reliable - people usually remember what happens during a trance, and effective suggestions to forget things usually wear off at some point in the future - the person is likely to be caught.
I enjoy mind control fantasy. But if hypnosis was mind control, the ethical issues would be horrendous. I’m very glad it doesn’t work like that. For people whose subconscious likes the idea of feeling out of control, which is true of a lot of hypno bottoms, it can give them that experience, but it is an illusion. The ethical issues and trust concerns are much closer to those surrounding intoxication and psychological manipulation - which are serious, but ones that we already understand and have tools to deal with.
Things that can control your mind in reality: There aren’t any.
I’m not 100% positive about that, although the history of people trying to develop mind control seems to suggest it’s the case.
But what I am sure about is that hypnosis is not mind control. It can’t be said often enough. Here’s my best understanding so far of what hypnosis is: it’s a very focused form of concentration, where your own imagination can make things real for you - including rules like “you can’t pull apart your hands” - that you would normally be too distracted to experience powerfully. But there is a part of you that is in control always, and suggestions it’s not ok with will be rejected. I have observed this firsthand, as a specific test with a very responsive trancee, where she was asked while in deep trance to cluck like a chicken (one of her hard limits). Absolutely nothing happened. The best way to reassure yourself is to experience trance, and discover that you mostly feel like yourself, and mostly feel in control.
Sometimes this is overstated: the so-called “hidden observer” that is ready to veto suggestions and potentially pop you out of trance has limits, is not your full conscious intelligence. It’s a little dopey. My current model is that the risks during trance are similar to when someone has a few drinks in them. A little more gullible, a little more uninhibited. Less prepared to physically resist an assault. But I think ethical judgments and risk assessments can be made on the basis of the alcohol analogy.
I think it’s also possible for a sociopathic person to abuse a trusting relationship with someone to use hypnosis, over a period of time, to help nudge someone towards doing things they’re not ok with or bad mental states. But this is true of any intimate trusting relationship, especially D/s relationships, and I would not see hypnosis as giving someone too much power beyond what a regular psychological manipulator (someone who plays “mind games”) could achieve. And if such a thing is tried, since hypnotic amnesia is not very effective or reliable - people usually remember what happens during a trance, and effective suggestions to forget things usually wear off at some point in the future - the person is likely to be caught.
I enjoy mind control fantasy. But if hypnosis was mind control, the ethical issues would be horrendous. I’m very glad it doesn’t work like that. For people whose subconscious likes the idea of feeling out of control, which is true of a lot of hypno bottoms, it can give them that experience, but it is an illusion. The ethical issues and trust concerns are much closer to those surrounding intoxication and psychological manipulation - which are serious, but ones that we already understand and have tools to deal with.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
A Great Week of Hypnosis
This has been an incredible week. I've finally had a taste of the longer one-on-one hypnosis play sessions I've been craving, and it has been so gratifying. Really getting to know how someone responds, and what they like, is a powerful experience that is teaching me at an accelerated rate, especially with getting such wonderful, insightful feedback. The term "play partner" bugged me when I first got into the kink scene, but it's a useful one, for people that you are genuinely building a relationship with, although one with only very loose commitment on both sides. This is a third place, between brief trances with new partners at workshops and parties on the hand and a committed long term relationship with hypnosis in it on the other, and it's working for me now. I had an excellent discussion about such relationships with two popular Boston rope tops, which helped to set my head on straight.
I'm having a weird feeling of disconnection, that I guess everyone who gets the opportunity to dive into their kink gets. This thing that is occupying so much of my brain and time, and where I'm really excited about my growth and new experiences, is something I can't talk to 90% of the people in my life about. There's a giant redacted paragraph in the middle of my for-public-consumption life. But when I think about it, I'm sure that's true in general for plenty of people, if not the majority.
I've realized there are a lot of obstacles to posting detailed scene accounts, even though I have permission, but I wanted to mention a few interesting and/or hot things that came up this week:
I'm having a weird feeling of disconnection, that I guess everyone who gets the opportunity to dive into their kink gets. This thing that is occupying so much of my brain and time, and where I'm really excited about my growth and new experiences, is something I can't talk to 90% of the people in my life about. There's a giant redacted paragraph in the middle of my for-public-consumption life. But when I think about it, I'm sure that's true in general for plenty of people, if not the majority.
I've realized there are a lot of obstacles to posting detailed scene accounts, even though I have permission, but I wanted to mention a few interesting and/or hot things that came up this week:
- The sight of someone struggling against a trance trigger, and failing, is everything this hypnofetishist dreamed of. [to be clear, in these cases the trancee really wanted to go under again, and it was my request that she try to resist it, which she wasn't so happy to do.]
- Another thing I will never get tired of is the sound of women's voices while deeply in trance. Getting people to listen to how hypnotized their voices sound can be helpful in convincing them they're in a trance, and so relax into it.
- I got to try a number of tasty inductions and deepeners for the first time, including what Wiseguy calls Floating in Space, which creates a beautiful set of mental images for the visual trancee. This made me think about how there could be many more very poetic and vivid mental journeys trancees could be guided through, limited only by the hypnotist's imagination and understanding of their partner's imagination.
- One hypnotee said that she found the staircase deepener didn't work for her so well. Upon thinking about it, she realized it was because she had had an ankle injury for several years, and so stairs were associated with discomfort. So from then on I switched to a different deepener. A great example of the mental and physical diversity of hypnotees, and how important it is to have plenty of alternatives to turn to in your toolbox.
- A fun alternate take on hypnotic bondage was magnetic hands, that stuck to any nearby surface and could be turned on and off (I'm sure I stole this from somewhere). When one of my hypnotee's hands was stuck to her face, I pulled on her wrist and her head started to come with it!
- I was blown away at the hit rate for different types of suggestions, for which I credit the great aptitude of the partners I was working with. But in agreement with things I've read, eyes-open visual hallucinations seem to be really, really hard.
- Right now I am deprioritizing flow, drama and masterfulness in favour of a very high standard of consent, particularly considering these are quite new relationships, and I'm still figuring out my approach to ethics. (as an example: I'm asking permission before almost every use of an induction trigger) Not to mention, flow, drama and masterfulness will take a ton more experience.
- Always impressed by how much it feels like I am truly in collaboration with my partner's subconscious, which often has plenty of ideas of its own. For example, I started to go to a blackboard deepener after a staircase deepener for one partner, and her subconscious spoke up, to my surprise: she said "there's no blackboard in the cellar!" She told me later she had clearly pictured a washer and dryer in there, but no blackboard! However when I told her to find a door in the cellar that led to a room with a blackboard, that satisfied her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)