I keep coming back to this
thought during quarantine, which is damn, I'm glad I did all those
orgies! Do you know, that my birthday in February turned out to be
basically four days of group sex? So much fun that people other than me
are looking back fondly on it as the last hurrah (for now)? I tell you
that not just to brag, but because it's starting to seem like a dream.
Man did we throw some great just-because hypnotic play parties too. Tons of people, with themed refreshments, and propositions, and lingerie, and cuddle piles. With public hypnosis scenes so hot the room goes quiet to watch, with cries of orgasm or pain coming from two bedrooms at once, with 2 AM group trances. And just as sweet, pancakes and sleepy chitchat on a Sunday, hanging out deep into the afternoon with the overnight guests. Hard to believe it now that it's been 75 days since anyone but me and khatsha has crossed our welcome mat.
And yet before every single party, after five hours of cleaning and preparation, with 20 minutes to go, khatsha and I would always turn to each other and go, "I hate this. This was a bad idea. Is it too late to cancel??"
Lots of types of pleasure are a major pain in the butt to make happen. And even the ones that aren't, I still have a tendency to hesitate and second guess, like I'm going to save this till later, like maybe till I earn it. I'm the type to throw away half a bag of grapes because I let them go soft, saving them, rationing them, for what?
Then I'm thinking about the dorky, anxious, exuberant, creative, bitchy, caring world of erotic hypnosis conventions. I've been going to at least three per year, for years, and expected that to continue indefinitely. Who knows what's going to happen there? But I'm sure glad for every single one I bought plane tickets to, booked hotel rooms, and braved the social anxiety gauntlet to show up.
A lot of this I had to struggle with, maybe from my upbringing that says to beware of self-indulgence and frivolousness. "Don't delay pleasure" isn't a message everyone needs to hear - for example John Belushi had that nailed - but I do.
Because these things are not worthless. They are the very serious substance of a life. Sadness and suffering, they take care of themselves. So do easy, homey pleasures (like most of the ones available right now). But the pleasures that take some effort and risk, I'm so grateful for every single one I went for. Those memories are unbearably precious - they are the sacks of coal that I stored up, that are keeping me warm in the current winter. And will too on through the deeper, harsher winter of old age. ("Yo, hey, Gen Z fella! Did I ever tell you about the six-on-one hypnotic pleasure overload scene we had in '19 or so??" "Only about a hundred times...") I hope there will be many more epic memories of kink and sex to stack alongside those, but right now I'm so glad I didn't put those off, or talk myself out of them.
The more urgent reason not to delay pleasure is that you can't count on things sticking around until you've worked up to it. They can disappear without warning. Often you don't know when your last chance was - I sure would have liked one more pint at the Galway before this all started. Or one more cheesy multiplex film at AMC Boston Commons, and go for the $9 popcorn. And of course where this applies most of all is to the people in our life. And our own health and capabilities.
No matter what choices I made in the past, the COVID 19 pandemic lies across all those alternate branching realities like a thick black Sharpie line. I'm glad for everything I didn't put off before we crossed into that darkness. And most of all for those pleasure-based decisions, all those times I chose something spectacular and scary over something easy and safe, that led me to meet and marry khatsha, so that now I'm quarantined with her in JP.
I'm in an incredibly lucky place in this crisis, and I want to be as useful as I can to others. I'm not just about the hedonism. But also, this is my resolution, as the lockdown eases and even before it eases: absent a good reason, if there's a person in my life I enjoy, or a treat I've been saving for a rainy day, or something great I want to set in motion, don't ration it out! Don't delay! I'll leave it to my mum's favourite quote from Jane Austen written more than 200 years ago, which inspired this: "Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!"
PS: This is not to be used against me in the future by any persons who might be in orgasm denial. You know that delay is for a reason.
Man did we throw some great just-because hypnotic play parties too. Tons of people, with themed refreshments, and propositions, and lingerie, and cuddle piles. With public hypnosis scenes so hot the room goes quiet to watch, with cries of orgasm or pain coming from two bedrooms at once, with 2 AM group trances. And just as sweet, pancakes and sleepy chitchat on a Sunday, hanging out deep into the afternoon with the overnight guests. Hard to believe it now that it's been 75 days since anyone but me and khatsha has crossed our welcome mat.
And yet before every single party, after five hours of cleaning and preparation, with 20 minutes to go, khatsha and I would always turn to each other and go, "I hate this. This was a bad idea. Is it too late to cancel??"
Lots of types of pleasure are a major pain in the butt to make happen. And even the ones that aren't, I still have a tendency to hesitate and second guess, like I'm going to save this till later, like maybe till I earn it. I'm the type to throw away half a bag of grapes because I let them go soft, saving them, rationing them, for what?
Then I'm thinking about the dorky, anxious, exuberant, creative, bitchy, caring world of erotic hypnosis conventions. I've been going to at least three per year, for years, and expected that to continue indefinitely. Who knows what's going to happen there? But I'm sure glad for every single one I bought plane tickets to, booked hotel rooms, and braved the social anxiety gauntlet to show up.
A lot of this I had to struggle with, maybe from my upbringing that says to beware of self-indulgence and frivolousness. "Don't delay pleasure" isn't a message everyone needs to hear - for example John Belushi had that nailed - but I do.
Because these things are not worthless. They are the very serious substance of a life. Sadness and suffering, they take care of themselves. So do easy, homey pleasures (like most of the ones available right now). But the pleasures that take some effort and risk, I'm so grateful for every single one I went for. Those memories are unbearably precious - they are the sacks of coal that I stored up, that are keeping me warm in the current winter. And will too on through the deeper, harsher winter of old age. ("Yo, hey, Gen Z fella! Did I ever tell you about the six-on-one hypnotic pleasure overload scene we had in '19 or so??" "Only about a hundred times...") I hope there will be many more epic memories of kink and sex to stack alongside those, but right now I'm so glad I didn't put those off, or talk myself out of them.
The more urgent reason not to delay pleasure is that you can't count on things sticking around until you've worked up to it. They can disappear without warning. Often you don't know when your last chance was - I sure would have liked one more pint at the Galway before this all started. Or one more cheesy multiplex film at AMC Boston Commons, and go for the $9 popcorn. And of course where this applies most of all is to the people in our life. And our own health and capabilities.
No matter what choices I made in the past, the COVID 19 pandemic lies across all those alternate branching realities like a thick black Sharpie line. I'm glad for everything I didn't put off before we crossed into that darkness. And most of all for those pleasure-based decisions, all those times I chose something spectacular and scary over something easy and safe, that led me to meet and marry khatsha, so that now I'm quarantined with her in JP.
I'm in an incredibly lucky place in this crisis, and I want to be as useful as I can to others. I'm not just about the hedonism. But also, this is my resolution, as the lockdown eases and even before it eases: absent a good reason, if there's a person in my life I enjoy, or a treat I've been saving for a rainy day, or something great I want to set in motion, don't ration it out! Don't delay! I'll leave it to my mum's favourite quote from Jane Austen written more than 200 years ago, which inspired this: "Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!"
PS: This is not to be used against me in the future by any persons who might be in orgasm denial. You know that delay is for a reason.
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