The Squidward Induction (You're Not in Trance)

Trancey language ahead, induction only

You're not in trance

This isn't an induction

You're not feeling your arms getting heavier, it's not the case that your shoulders drop

You're not relaxing

You're not unable to look away

You're not deeply focused, from the outside you don't look like you're already in a trance

There's no need to resist trancing

Because there's nothing there to resist

You're not taking a deep breath

You're not blinking more than usual

You're not sinking slowly into a not undelicious relaxed state

That feeling of wonderful heaviness isn't increasing until you don't feel it nowhere in your body

You're not spacey

You're not zonked

There's not a single thought that's not not leaving your head, and you're not giving into the blankness all the way

Tranciness isn't everywhere now

There's no powerful relaxation

There won't be any natural wake up in a minute because you're not falling deeply under a spell

You are not not not not
in trance

You are

Not

Not

Not

Not

Not

Not

In trance

SLEEP!

(Inspired by the conventional NLP wisdom that the unconscious doesn't process negatives, but mostly by Squidward's song in The Spongebob Squarepants broadway musical - which was written by They Might Be Giants!)