Don't Lower Your Expectations: Something I Learned from the Premiere of Serenity

A lot of people have independently come up with the idea that it is wise to lower your expectations, so as to avoid disappointment. For example, here's a chart by a videogame reviewer I like, about how you shouldn't get excited about upcoming videogame releases. Or as John Cusack says to Lily Taylor in Say Anything: "You probably got it all figured out, Corey. If you start out depressed, everything's  kind of a pleasant surprise."

I think this approach is wrong, because of when I watched Serenity, on opening night, August 22, 2005. I was a huge Firefly fan, and both enjoyed myself and tortured myself watching those short 14 episodes over and over, so I looked forward to that date for months. My expectations were that the movie would be fucking awesome, and the movie far exceeded my expectations. And that's the greatest feeling. (and I got it again for Avengers!)

So, you don't get to have that feeling if you lower your expectations. That's it. That's my whole argument.

But I'll also say: what's so bad about disappointment? Disappointment is a human emotion. Let yourself be disappointed. I've heard depression described not as feeling sad, but as not being able to feel anything. I'm glad I went to Star Wars Episode I on opening night. I'm glad my expectations were high. The crappiness of that movie knocked me on my ass like a rogue wave, and I treasure that memory. It made a scar that I share with every fellow generation X nerd. And this of course applies to non-trivial, grownup disappointments, even more so. Letting yourself get hurt connects you with other people.

Also, by the way, how do you feel when you're holding down your expectations? When you're cautiously measuring out your optimism? Do you feel lively and vibrant? Are you excited to get up in the morning? I'm guessing not so much. Why deny yourself the pleasure of looking forward to things?

The one caveat is don't create too detailed a picture of how it will be awesome. Because it will be different from that. Like my kink time in Boston. It was so much more awesome than I ever expected, but in very surprising ways. If you don't get fixated on individual imagined details, you're free to appreciate the awesomeness in whatever form it comes in.

All things being equal, I say set your expectations high. You have no idea where the top is. Think about the possibility of a party, scene, person, period of your life, being better than anything you've ever known.

Or as Lily Taylor says to John Cusack in Say Anything: "Get ready for greatness, Lloyd."