A lot of people don't like
to buy natural peanut butter. They think that it's too much because it
has a layer of oil on the top - they think it's too messy. And the
bottom too grainy. They'd prefer something with palm oil, maybe some
icing sugar. Premixed.
They don't know how good natural peanut butter can be. All it takes is time, and care.
I start with the kind that's just roasted peanuts and salt, and store it upside down or on its side overnight, in the pantry. Many people make the mistake of refrigerating it at this point. But natural peanut butter doesn't work that way: it will only result in an impassable layer of congealed fat.
The next day, when the oil has migrated from the top a little, I open up the jar and stir it. I do this in the sink, with a knife rather than a spoon. I have paper towels nearby in case it spills into the threads or down the side during stirring. Which happens a lot. But the best things sometimes take a little cleanup.
Then I put it in the fridge. By the next day it has a smooth and consistent texture, that will last almost to the bottom of the jar, and as long as you store it in the fridge, it will never separate again.
And that's how you deal with a jar of natural peanut butter!
...
Polyamory? I don't really have a take on that, why do you ask?
Oh, the title! Man, I can see how that's misleading. I should really change it - I just wanted to tell you about the peanut butter.
In case it's not clear, this is a parody of a certain type of prolific FetLife essayist who loves a simile - if it put you in mind of one, that's probably who it is... or rather one of several I was thinking of. Also I sincerely wanted to share my peanut butter technique!
They don't know how good natural peanut butter can be. All it takes is time, and care.
I start with the kind that's just roasted peanuts and salt, and store it upside down or on its side overnight, in the pantry. Many people make the mistake of refrigerating it at this point. But natural peanut butter doesn't work that way: it will only result in an impassable layer of congealed fat.
The next day, when the oil has migrated from the top a little, I open up the jar and stir it. I do this in the sink, with a knife rather than a spoon. I have paper towels nearby in case it spills into the threads or down the side during stirring. Which happens a lot. But the best things sometimes take a little cleanup.
Then I put it in the fridge. By the next day it has a smooth and consistent texture, that will last almost to the bottom of the jar, and as long as you store it in the fridge, it will never separate again.
And that's how you deal with a jar of natural peanut butter!
...
Polyamory? I don't really have a take on that, why do you ask?
Oh, the title! Man, I can see how that's misleading. I should really change it - I just wanted to tell you about the peanut butter.
In case it's not clear, this is a parody of a certain type of prolific FetLife essayist who loves a simile - if it put you in mind of one, that's probably who it is... or rather one of several I was thinking of. Also I sincerely wanted to share my peanut butter technique!
